Monday, October 24, 2011

Grace...not Up in here.

why hello blog how have you been? I have been well thank you for asking.  I know it has been a hot minute since i wrote anything but i have been feeling exceptionally un-funny lately and i didn't want to bore people with subpar humor. 

I would like to let everyone know that I am at this moment sitting in my man chair, eating crab cakes and watching Ravens football...its like the perfect storm minus the Natty Boh and surrendering an unfortunate amount of money to state taxes...I'm home.

So, I'm not entirely sure who to blame or when it happened but as I am sure you have all noticed Zombies are the new Vampire.  They are quite "in" it seems.  Call of Duty, movies, TV shows and now obstacle races.   I participated in the Run for Your Life race this weekend in Darlington.  I dressed like a zombie and chased people around while they tried to arm bar me and poke me in the eye and break my was the danger zone for sure and NOT for the runners.  Now...I say "participated" in lieu of "ran" because it turns out as Sarah, Loo and now half of the zombie community now knows...I fall when i run outside.

You know what's worse than falling in the middle of a race where you at the time one of the lead females in your heat?  Falling in the middle of a race where you are one of the lead females while covered in fake blood and rocking a zombie-hawk.  Nothing like making a fool out of yourself while looking rad.  I knew it was bad when the other racers would run by me and see the golf ball knot on my ankle and exclaim "HOLY F*** THATS BROKEN!!!" thanks for the vote of confidence ladies and gents how's about lying to me and telling me I'm pretty and its just a bump.  That's what my REAL friends would do...just saying. 

The ridiculous thing is i fell because I was reading a sign.  That's right I looked over to read a sign that simply read "cold?wet?" and down I went.  It wasn't pretty and it CERTAINLY wans't graceful.  I'd LIKE to think that I run like some kind of elegant gazelle but in reality it more resembles one of those dogs that grew too fast and has no idea how long his legs are or how big his feet have become. I take my eyes off the ground for ONE effing second and look what happens.  I have written a few times about my inherent ability to walk blindly into stationary equipment, walk literally though closed screen doors and on one occasion after my senior prom walking face first into a glass sliding door so hard that i actually woke people up.  I am quite aware that if i stop for ONE moment to look away from the path i am taking disaster will ensue.

So needless to say I cant do a WHOLE lot of anything right now...I'm pretty pissy about it and have chosen to take it out on my satellite training crew out in Washington state (I am taking suggestions for their group name).  They are headed up by my bestie and they are taking the brunt of my hobbling.  I'm pretty sure that after today's WOD they aren't going to talk to me for awhile as Sarah has YET to reply to my last message and that just DOESNT happen.  I will say that I'm ubes proud of all of them and plan on writing about their successes here soon as soon as i get all the deets from them.  Until them I will jstu make super sure that they hate me for about an hour everyday but heart me each morning when they wake up all sexy and stuff. 

1 comment:

  1. Well if it makes you feel better I burnt my eyeball today, My.Eye.ball. by checking if the bacon was done by sticking my face close to the pan and a big blob of hot bacon fat 'popped' right into my eyeball. next time...tongs. fo sho.