Sunday, December 4, 2011

Uhhh.....What?


" I was heading over to that bar but you got to it first.  I was going to see if I could squeeze in some sets in between whatever that was you were doing but I was afraid you would beat me up"

WHAT????? So this is NOT the first time anyone has ever said that to me;  "whoa whoa sorry don't beat me up".  It's on the list with all the other "usual" things I hear and have mentioned before and to which I have become  def;  "you look huge", "you have man traps" ( that one was new thanks Jen Chen), "Have you EVER tried steroids?".  For some reason today I realized that I get the "beat me up" one a lot and I think it's RIDICULOUS.  I'm pretty nice...ask anyone.  I'm ESPECIALLY nice to people at globo gyms as they can come in kind of useful as various genres of resources (where to get my hair cut, good places to go for Mongolian BBQ, where the hell can you buy alcohol in Maryland)

Ask any of the people who ACTUALLY know me in real life...not ONE of them will tell you I have EVER beaten them up and MOST of them (my real life friends) have annoyed or pissed me off at least once.   Hell,  ask my sister.  We have DEFINITELY fought and I have NEVER beaten her up.  Ask ANY of my exes...ask Scott, or John...both exes that I have NEVER beaten up in fact we are still friends.  Geeze  Scott and I are still life besties and he made out with Liz Gibson while we were dating (in 10th grade that's a deal breaker...scratch that at 31 it's still a deal breaker).  So why do strangers think I'm going to beat them up...like it's not funny...it's not flirting.  If we go for the same barbell (I know you are going to be doing curls with it and I want to do OHS...that's annoying) and you go "oh oh sorry woops I don't want to get beat up please be my guest" uh...how about just let me use it cause I'm a lady and its polite.  Or ask if you can work your stupid curls in between my sets of shenanigans.  Is that turn of phrase  something you say in regular life to people? Like...if someone writes a report in your office and didn't use spell check would  you NOT say anything about it but let your cohort know your reasoning is because you are afraid you're going to get beat up? I'm a GIRL and contrary to popular belief apparently, I WAS in fact socialized  with other humans from birth; and aside from the times when it has been both accepted and expected for me to beat people up (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) I have never beaten any one up...OK OK OK that ONE time in a bar in Jacksonville but that broad hit me first and they tell me I was laughing the whole time.

 Now don't get me wrong.  Sarah, Kim, Jenny, Amanda, and a few others will tell you that when it comes to my friends and the people I love,  I am very territorial and a little mama bear-ish and I have been known to stand up for the pertinent people in my life when I needs to be done BUT I DONT GO AROUND BEATING UP STRANGERS SO STOP SAYING IT TO ME!!!!

And for the record meat-head monster..."whatever I was doing" is called The Bear Complex and yes it makes me lie on the dirty floor  making that face, in lots-o-pain.  Also,  the bicep growers are over there on that girly rack by the mirror...this oly bar is for grownups so go play now...run along.

1 comment:

  1. OK just had to let you know this had me laughing... "Or ask if you can work your stupid curls in between my sets of shenanigans." hahaha! And I did the bear a couple weeks ago, fucking terrible.

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