Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Part Deux

OK…so where are we…did we make it to VT? If not let’s just say that we did.  The car ride was OBVI amazaballs as we had been drinking and commiseration is WAY funnier with beers than without.  I feel obligated to mention we did NOT have travelers and Margaret “hard to catch” Schlachter was as sober as Jesus on a Thursday.  Again there was singing and comedy at the expense of everyone else NOT in the Subaru and by the time we reached Killington we were ready to get settled and were QUICKLY reminded…OH yea we have a race tomorrow….SHIT… 
Before the race the Chicked Army, a group of founding bravo alpha femme bots from across this country and that one right above us, was required to arrive 2 hours before our heat to conduct really articulate and focused interviews.  I mean we did a really good job…I am completely positive I talked with my hands and evaded the questions but Logan knows that’s how I roll. 
Did I mention how REALLY prepared we were? Knowing full well we were going to be on the run for 4-6 hours we brought with us no food, no water, no electrolytes, no gum, nada.  No one has EVER accused me of being smart.  They racers were called to the start and the minutes counted down…the PFT stomach cramps (Sarah knows what I’m talking about) were in FULL effect and the countdown to start sounded off. 
In my head as USUAL I was thinking “I mean really how hard can this ACTUALLY BE…I mean I have been to war and shit I’m like tough or something I have choked full grown men out in bars in Carlsbad before defending my friends honor..What’s a little jog up a hill?”  Those of you who followed my Death Race training blog know that I am not smart and I do DUMB things on the regular.  Uhhh….so off we went…at a 38.5% incline for about a mile to reach 4668ft elevation.  I have been told that I wear my emotions on my face and Carrie later told me that my face was saying “Get the F*** out of my FACE with this!” (there is a chick walking in front of my window and her calves are bigger than her quads…its weird)
This race was EPIC to say the least.  The first few miles were tough and really set the tone for the rest of the race.  Once we had gotten through the first three miles Adams says to the rest of the group “So we are committed now to finishing!”  Eff off Shawty I will quit at WILL!  No one bosses me!!! We pushed through.  We OBVI sent MarShlac WELL on her way early at the start line, as she was our sleeper and we knew she was going to DISRESEPCT the mountain.  We each had our strengths and they complimented the weaknesses of the others.  Carrie is a mountain goat going downhill, Monica was a ghost in the water, Alyssa had a great running pace and I can carry heavy crap and climb things. 

Thanks to some well timed thermogenics the race seemed to get easier as we progressed and moved through the brush, carried sand bags, climbed ropes, swam lakes, pulled cinder blocks, balanced on stumps, hiked mountains…a lot, laughed,  bouldered, slid back down the mountains we hiked, jumped, cussed,  and basically traversed for 12 miles through the Green Mountains.  This was a GOOD race…I mean a DAMN GOOD RACE!  I would feel comfortable saying that if you took the Death Race and evaporated all the water and condensed it…you would have the Beast.

We crossed the finish line in the same manner as we left it 6 hours earlier…together. Be barricaded through Gladiators and cart wheeled across the line only to find out that our dark horse had in FACT done what we had expected and won third place over all for the women…EFFING A RIGHT MAR-MAR (yes I plan on changing her nick name every time I write it) She was amazing she worked hard and deserved that victory and we all deserved to celebrate her accomplishment…she stepped in that races business and hurt its feelings!

After the race we showered and went for dead cows and beers to pre-game for the evening celebration at pickles.  We got a little inebriated, told everyone the stories congratulated Schlach-take no shalack –ter, napped then headed out to meet the rest of the racers. 

People kept asking me to dance…Obviously these people are not smart nor had they run The Beast…again beer was present and good times were had.  Back to The Killington Mountain school (our residence for the weekend) to sleep and awaked 4 hours later to trek home.  A failed alarm clock caused our ride to be late and since we were on a VERY strict time schedule we had to motor so we poured into the Subaru and drove BACK to Redhook to retrieve the Jetta and drive like Ninjas the HELL out of there (undetected) WE MADE it back, I slept for 12 hours and don’t regret one second.  I wouldn’t change a THING about that weekend it was the perfect balance of calm amidst chaos and all of the chicked army demonstrated their ability to rise above the rubble and GET ISH DONE!!! Until next time ladies…see you are the Super!!!

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