Thursday, September 1, 2011

Please don't anyone ever strike me with lightening....

So I have been sitting here thinking about my calibrated ladder of measure. I honestly don’t even know if when I put those three words together they mean what I want them to mean but as a few of you are lucky enough to know....I do what I want and it’s my blog so you all will take it as I intend it.   I have recently become a little concerned about this calibrated ladder of measure that I have committed to memory, have used habitually and developed over the years.   I got really scared when I realized how much I depend on my ability to eyeball ¼ cup of uncooked steel cut oats, 12g worth of protein from chicken/egg whites, the amount of lotion required to properly moisturize my right and left leg.  What if something happened to my brain?  What if my calibrated ladder of measure got skewed...what the crap would become of me?

I realized that I measure a great many things throughout my day.  It turns out that I measure more things than I actually realized (OMG I’m watching Marley and me alone WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME!!) I measure food,  drinks, laundry detergent, weights, shampoo, face soap, dog food, cat food, time, distance, toothpaste, grapes, height, coffee mate, almonds...EVERYTHING.  I am worried about what would happen if my internal calibrated ladder system of measurement (I reserve the right to change what I call it at will) got UN calibrated...what the crap would happen to my day?  What would happen if I woke up and ate 225# of oatmeal topped with a gallon of Greek yogurt and then later went to the globo, walked back into the man cave and loaded 6oz of weights on a bar and started dead lifting it but only once.  I mean...if instead of the palm sized dollop of shampoo that I automatically know to use I pour a comparable amount to laundry detergent.  I put a lot of trust in my internal calibrated ladder of measure and let’s face it I ran my car into my mail box twice pulling out of my driveway (geezus this movie is almost over I need hugs) so how much can I really be trusted to keep ish straight in my head and for how long?  What if I get struck by lightning and started running for 20 feet and doing walking lunges for a 5K…things would get really serious really fast.

There are times…sometimes… when I DO ignore my calibrated ladder of measure and I eat three bags of grapes in two days, but it’s intentional and it’s because no one is watching me and I answer to no one.  There HAVE been instances where my memorized measure for the appropriate amount of coffee mate that needs to be added to my coffee has MAYBE been a little over weight due to a system reboot or some…we will call it memory overload that itself may have been brought on by a mis-measure of pinot noir the evening before BUT … no system is perfect and there are always glitches; which brings me to my concern. 

I am going to ask that maybe just check in on me every now and again to make sure I haven’t gone ahead and fed Larry six individual pieces of dog food and eaten 2 cups of almonds.  If you DO see something like that go down…take me to the hospital as I have suffered head injury or was struck by lightning…thank you in advance for your time.

WOD ON!!!:

75 double unders

KBS (1.5/2POOD)/Burpees


75 double unders


4 max rounds of pull ups because your grip will be AWESOME by then 

*******TIP OF THE DAY***********

Have I already don’t the crock pot oatmeal tip? If I have eff off read it again.

In a crock pot measure out ¼ a cup of steel cut oats for each day of the week.  Add Chia seeds and water (twice as much water as content) and crock on high until done, portion into 7 tupper-ware containers and put in the fridge…BOOM breakfast for the week was made in 45 minutes.  You’re welcome.

1 comment:

  1. I heart your tips. I'm making oatmeal right now.