The Break-up

Dear my Rut,

I decided to write this letter to you because I have no idea how else to get through to you…how else to get you to listen to me calmly without interruption and without becoming irrational.  I know you are defensive.  I know that by nature you can't see your flaws...your mistakes, or how your behavior effects me and everyone around us.  I really want you to hear me and understand where I am coming from.

I don’t understand why you have been treating me in the manner you have been lately.  None of my actions towards you have warranted the disdain that I feel every moment you are around.   I don't ask for much.  I just want to wake up and have the motivation to go run, make breakfast, brew coffee, go to work and do a decent job (decent enough to keep me hired I suppose) and leave with the kind of mentality I need to go train.  Why do you want to take that away from me?

You are CONSTANTLY around complaining that you're too tired, it's too hot, you didn't eat correctly the day before or drink enough water.  I've grown weary of you Rut.  I'm tired of you keeping me home lying on the couch or napping in the middle of the day.  I can't stand how you stop me from doing the things that I LIKE you always want to do the things that make YOU happy.  I don't WANT to skip cardio to get a smoothie Rut, I don't WANT to drive ALL the way to the gym TWICE in one day just to walk in turn around and leave because you think you're needs are more important than mine and you just NEEDED to run menial errands RIGHT at that moment.  I don't WANT to set my alarm DAILY for 0500 JUST to have you roll over and re-set it for 0700.  I CERTAINLY do NOT  want to waste the time and money getting all dressed up for a nice day outside sweating and smiling JUST to have you decide that you want to update your Facebook status.

Rut I KNOW that I'm human and I get tired and I lose sight of why I want to train but I don't need YOU trying to boss me around and tell me what to do and when to do it.  I'm not going to let you control this relationship anymore.  All you are going to do is run it into the ground and make me hate myself and more so hate you.  You've had your time in the sunshine Rut.  You're 15 minutes of fame is over.  I'm sorry you have to hear it like this but I'm done with you.  I wish you the best but I'm sorry to say the next person you are with is not going to benefit from your influence and to that I can only wish them speedy realization that you don't make decisions.  Imma' show YOU how great I am! 

Fuck off Rut I'm OUT!

Love,

Katya